How to Buy Practically Anything

Gentlemen’s Groceries

Buying groceries one your own for the first can be one of the more daunting experiences of your first week as an independent man. It can also be a wild, debauched time of buying all the unhealthy, unbalanced things your momma never kept in the pantry and living a life filled with bacon and pork rinds.

It should be neither of these things.

While now of course you are free to stock your own pantry and find who you are as an eater. Dianne, for example, was surprised to find that she never ate ketchup, a condiment her parents had stocked religiously. Then proceed with caution once you’ve figured it out. You should shop with care for your own health and plan carefully.

Before you go to the grocery store, have a plan for what you will be eating and cooking in order to avoid wasting food. If you’re not sure what to make, go online for ideas and recipes of easy meals. There are even websites nowadays that based on what you already have can give you something to cook.

When selecting produce, buy what looks and smells fresh. It should be mostly turgid, which means the cells are full of water, and the fewer imperfections in the plant the better.

Meat should be red or pink, not brown. Fish should have a light saltwater smell (like the sea) rather than actually smelling like a fish.

Here are some things that everyone should keep in their kitchen:

• At least 3 different fruits you enjoy eating
• At least 3 different vegetables
• Milk, butter, and cheese
• Bacon, ground beef or turkey, and chicken breasts
• Flour, sugar, some basic spices: cinnamon, onion powder, curry powder, chili powder, Italian seasoning, black pepper, etc., baking powder and soda
• Any sauces you regularly use: Sriracha, mustard, hoisin, etc.
• Eggs
• Nuts and nut spreads (peanut butter and nutella, gentlemen)